Dating A Player

Just over a year ago I met a man, who happened to be a sportsman, a real one!
Not just a weekender or a armchair support but a real sportsman. His field was one that I don't know a lot about and I told him so, it seemed not to matter. He had the softest hands I've ever known in a man and when I remarked on that he told me that as they are his livelihood he has to take good care of them, I joked that they were probably insured. He said that yes they were, then told me how much for. *gulp* No nibbling on those fingers then!

Our first date had been the best first date I've ever been on (and there have been quite a few of those!) it was one of those 'click' moments, and it went on for hours and hours, we saw quite a bit of each other from the very start, at his insistence not mine, I was flattered by the attention I freely admit.

As the weeks passed things were going along beautifully until he started talking about moving in with me. Well I've done the living with a partner thing in the past and vowed that it was not something I would take lightly in the future, so we talked about the reasons; he said he was away from HK so often that when he was here he wanted to be with me all the time, I said that was rather overwhelming and that I needed some space, he said he understood that and perhaps he should just move to an apartment that was near to me so we could easily be together but that he had a bolt hole for those times when we needed it, I said that was a great idea.
I wasn't ruling out the moving in together thing completely but it was too early for that for me.
He'd asked if I was seeing anyone else, I said no and he was happy with that reply and told me that he wasn't seeing anyone else either. Well that was fine, we had been seeing each other for about 8 weeks at this time. Yes he'd been out of HK for a few days now and then but I was used to relationships with men who travel . I really enjoy the time together when it's not taken for granted.

We were finding more about each other and enjoying spending time doing all sorts of things together. Then one day when he was due back from a short trip, he didn't call. He didn't email to say the trip had been extended. Nothing. I presumed his flight had been delayed or he had v tired and gone straight to bed, that was fine, I'm not so needy as to have to have a conversation everyday, if we chatted then fine if not then I'd catch him the next day.
I sent him a text the next morning and heard nothing back, still didn't worry about things after all the man was telling me he was completely smitten by me, that I was wonderful and all sorts of things like that! However over the next few days I still heard nothing, I called and got transfered to voice mail, I left a message and waited,

4 days later I got an email


Dear Mia
I'm sorry, don't know how to tell you this, but I've met someone else, she was on the same flight as me coming back to HK and we just clicked, we haven't been apart since. I see her as the mother of my children, the woman I want to grow old with, the woman of my dreams, to live life with out her would be just unbearable. I've moved in with her.
Goodbye.

Well, to say I was a little shocked was an under statement, I went through the usual round of 'was it me?' 'what did I do wrong?' and then moved on to the 'how could he do this to me?' .

Well I picked myself up and got over him, I realised that he is a man who throws himself into a situtation 110% but has no stamina as far as relationships go. I'm not a woman who does very well at guarding herself from hurt, so yes I was hurt, but no lasting harm.

A few weeks ago I received a text message out of the blue from him, telling me not a day has gone by with out him thinking about me and what a mistake he made (well yes!) was there any chance of a reconciliation. I tentatively replied to his text that he would have to do a lot better than that to woo me, and he suggested a weekend away at an exotic location, hmmmm I'm a sucker for exotic locations especially if there is a spa involved so I allowed him to call me that evening.
We talked at great length, he asked if he could come over and see me, I said no but we talked deep into the night, he begged for my forgiveness and another chance. I made no promises but said I'd think about that weekend away and meanwhile he was to take a look at himself, if I were to give him a 2nd chance was it one he was really wanting? He said that it was. I fell asleep a little happier and hopeful. The next day I got this text

I realised that I'm a complete tosser. Still with the gf who is away for the next 3 weeks. I just wanted to shag you. Sorry, when I spoke to you I realised that you are a great lady.

So there you go, nothing changes there!